Zac Brown Band Humor

The Birds and the Bees

        Puberty, pimples, periods, armpit hair, etc.   Walking into the classroom Friday, a student flung her arms around me and started crying; or at least I thought she was crying.  Concerned, I asked, “What on earth is wrong?”  At this point she looked up, smiling, and bellowed, “We are learning about the birds and the bees in science, and it is soooooo scary!”  I strived to look just as disgusted as she did!  A teacher wears many hats!

Telling your Children about the Birds and the Bees

Guess what day Christmas is on this year?

What Not to Wear

     Well, I finally get to mark something off my bucket list; not because it actually came about, but because it is no longer a possibility!  “What Not to Wear”…….yep, I always wanted to be on this television show. Unfortunately, it has been cancelled.  

     I actually tried to convince a friend of mine to recommend me for the show.   I envisioned myself putting on my worst outfit or pajamas and heading to Wal-Mart for my photo op.  I even pondered dressing like Honey Boo Boo’s mom or a slightly hookerish look.  Walking into Wal-Mart, my girlfriend, Beverly, would have been filming me (wink wink) in my horrible outfit.  I would have even been willing to don a pair of “mom jeans” with a fanny pack if I thought it would have helped me make the show.

     When I asked Beverly if she would recommend me for the show and tell the produces that she was fed up with my style, or lack thereof, her response was, “Noooooooooooooo, because I want to go on that show too!”    Now if you open up your dictionary and look up “stylish” or “rocking that outfit”, I bet you will find a picture of Beverly.    I guess Stacy and Clinton will not be popping out of a crowd any time soon to offer me my trip to NY with the $5,000 gift card! 

Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be teachers!

I now have 132 editorials to grade and 132 expository essays to grade. 

I feel a new song coming on…..

♫”Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys teachers!♪ 

♫ Don't let 'em grade papers for just a few bucks, ♪
♫Let 'em be doctors & lawyers & such,..." ♪