Sunday, September 6, 2015
Stinky Feet. As I finished my attendance, I glanced up only to discover that one of my students had taken off his shoes and thrown his socks right on the floor. His left foot was perched right up by his nose as he smelled away! I could actually smell this stale Dorito odor wafting up towards the front of the class as his peers began to snicker. To be honest, I was a little jealous that he could get his foot so high with such ease!
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
My shoplifting experience!
I know you are probably shocked, but yes, I actually shoplifted a
bathing suit bottom from TJ Maxx on a recent visit to Ft. Myers. In my defense, I was in a big hurry as it was
almost time to pick up my grandsons from school. Hopefully
you are not judging me, but imagine my surprise when I got home and realized I
had left the store with a bathing suit bottom (ON). In an effort
to “do the right thing”, I decided I would take the bathing suit back to my
local TJ Maxx. In a quiet voice, I
explained to the clerk that I had accidentally ended up with a bathing suit bottom that I
did not purchase. Now I might have left
a little part of the story out because I did not want the her to know that I
actually wore it out of the store under my clothes. Eyeing me suspiciously, she
calls over a store manager who looked young enough to be my son. I swallowed hard thinking, “Oh Lord, I might
end up in jail yet!” Once again I repeat
my story. The store manager told me that they could not accept it, and I would
need to return it to the store it came from.
I explained, in my sweetest voice, that I might not be back in Fort
Myers for a long time. Unbending, he
responded, “Ma’am, you will need to return this to the TJ Maxx in Ft.
Myers!” I responded, “Oh great, my face
is probably posted on billboards all over Ft. Myers at this point!” Who knows, I might getting one of those
bracelets yet! Signed, Sticky Fingers
Monday, March 23, 2015
Say Cheese! This is what happens when my generation takes selfies! In the first picture, Dee takes the “I’m at an event selfie” of Mary, herself, and me. Well actually, Mary’s face is blocked by Dee’s hand. And in the second picture, you have the “I’m on a cruise selfie” of Dee, Bob and me. I promise Dee is on the far left! Hmmmmm….should we buy a selfie stick?
Monday, February 16, 2015
My romantic evening with Bill. I am sure Cupid is rolling his eyes, but I named my Roomba Bill! My grandkids think it is a motorized pet. My granddog is petrified of it…..he thinks it is some kind of living creature or the Terminator. Bill has magically enhanced my life as he moves about my house without emotion, cleaning my floors. Granted, Bill is not excited to see me when I get home, but he will vacuum for me until he dies…..what dedication. I love my Roomba!
Monday, January 19, 2015
Several years ago, at the encouragement of friends, I decided to dabble in on-line dating. I wanted to make sure that I had a RECENT picture to ensure that my date would not feel like the walk from the door to the table was a scene out of the movie "Dead Man Walking".
A good friend offered to take photos of me for my online dating profile. She encouraged me to perch on the railing of her deck overlooking a gorgeous lake. With the sun setting in the background, I prissily perched on the railing. I was concentrating on tilting my head slightly and smiling while waiting for the click. All of a sudden it felt like my body was on fire! Who knew I was perched above a wasp nest! The little critters had flown up my shirt and pant legs. Suddenly I was yelling and running for the house while simultaneously stripping. Not exactly the photo opp I wanted for my online dating profile!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Walking past the desk, I suddenly did a double take; a student was sitting at his desk wearing a camouflage jacket with the hood up. Since camouflage is the art of disguising yourself to blend in with your surroundings, it was NOT working. As I approached the student, I realized that there was nobody inside this uncamouflaged outfit. Somebody had created a “fake student” for my benefit by pulling the handle up on their backpack and dressing it in their camo jacket (they even stuffed the face area with some paper). If you ever need a second passenger for the “dummy in the passenger seat scam”, this character would be great (not that I am promoting it). Hmmmmm….I wish I could clone this kid as he did not let out a peep all period!